If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
I declare, on my soul and conscience, that the attainment of power, or of a great name in literature, seemed to me an easier victory than a success with some young, witty, and gracious lady of high degree.
Just play the moment, that's the fun of it. You just play the moment. It's great writing and very clever writing, I think it's witty. And I have those great clothes. You have a great, witty, intelligent script and you look like a million dollars, because we have a great costumer, and it's a pretty good place to begin.
If it's a good book, anyone will read it. I'm totally unashamed about still reading things I loved in my childhood.
The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
It almost takes people by surprise when I'm not a big talker. Because I'm known as being sort of a loud mouth. I have a lot to say. But I try to be more thoughtful with my comments or reactions, unless it's something witty or hysterical that I just can't keep myself from blurting or tweeting!
To have money is to be virtuous, honest, beautiful and witty And to be without is to be ugly and boring and stupid and useless.
The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.
I think the single biggest thing that money gave me-and obviously I came from a place where I was a single mother and it really was hand to mouth at one point. It was literally as poor as you can get in Britain without being homeless at one point. If you've ever been there you will never, ever take for granted that you don't need to worry. Never.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
When I was born. . . the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father. . . I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. . . but he pulled through.
In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do.
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?