Top Groucho Marx Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Groucho Marx Biography

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (/ˈɡraʊtʃoʊ/; October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977) was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era.

Read about Groucho Marx in Wikipedia

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Groucho Marx Quotes

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Early, Funny, Man, Men, Time, Work

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Children, Funny, Given, Love, Loved, Mothers Day

Was that you or the duck?

Duck, Ducks

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

Crowd, Funny, Glasses, Humorous, Intellectual, Witty

A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.

Cigars, Know, Organization, People, Saw, Saws

In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

Clever, Let, Men, Wisdom, Woman

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

Inspiration, Long, Start, Study, Wish

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Book, Funny, Hours, Long, Reading

The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.

Arab, Giving Up, Ideas, Personally, Think, Thinking

Mrs. Teasdale calls for rescue and Firefly delivers the famous line to his cohorts as they rescue her: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did. "

Famous, Fighting, Firefly, Women

The months before my son was born, I used to yell from night to morn, 'Whatever it is, I'm against it! No matter what it is or who commenced it, I'm against it!'

Against, Born, Matter, Night, Son

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Book, Healthy, Inspiration, Like

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.

Author, Disturbing, Federal, Funny, Real, Sexy

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Funny, Humorous, Live, Long, Problem, Witty

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Course, Doctors, Golf, Inspiration, Nearest

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Everything, Frees, Funny, Inspiring, Money

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Cigar, Funny, Humorous, Mouth, Take, Witty

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Funny, Horse, Look, Marry, Sarcastic

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

Children, Parent, Place, Spinach, Stupidity

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

Crumbling, Drinking, Inspiration, Men, Sound, Sweeter

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