I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
I love what Joe Eszterhas written about Bill Clinton. It's hilarious, Clinton as a rock star, which is the way we should remember him.
When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
We're in a time when bashing is the norm - especially on social media, where everybody's online and no one interacts face-to-face. There's a quote I found yesterday - it was hilarious: "People need to chill, like literally, we're floating in space on a giant rock we can't leave. Look at the stars or something instead of being awful. " You think of floating on a rock in space as so alien, but that's exactly what we're doing.
Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Psychiatry is a pseudoscience. . . . You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do. . . Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is.
I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt
I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you.
I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.
Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.
I needed to make my wig ogg because I no longer wanted to apologize for who I am
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
I'm all about being self-deprecating because I think it's hilarious. Any actor who takes themselves seriously just needs to stop being such a piece of s**t.
It was just hilarious how my first reaction was, "Oh, no, it's another vampire show. I'm not interested. " And then, I read the script and thought it was brilliant.
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
Just go up to somebody on the street and say 'You're it!' and then run away.