I want to look beyond the legends, to find the real story of Scotland. And it's every bit as thrilling.
I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.
You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?
I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.
You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.
I don't mind ratings boards. As a viewer, you have the right not to see a film.
My service solidified my respect for our freedom, and the struggle to preserve it. I know the cost of obtaining freedom, keeping it and the value of it.
We may well lie with what seems to be a woman of flesh and blood, and yet all the time it is only a devil in the shape of a woman.
If I had known how much I hate auditioning, I doubt I would have become an actress.