When I was born. . . the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my … - Rodney Dangerfield

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The minute you're born, you're getting older.

Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born. . . the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father. . . I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. . . but he pulled through.

Came, Doctor, Funny, Hilarious, Said, Witty

Same Author Quotes

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Beauty, Crazy, Funny, Okay, Told

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

Dead, Dog, Play, Roll, Wife

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Finger, Know, Mouths, Sticks, Ugly

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Funny, Kid, Moved, Moving, Parents, Pregnancy

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

Cook, Dental Floss, Floss, Kitchen, Roaches, Wife

Similar Quotes

Annie Dillard

A shepherd on a hilltop who looks at a mess of stars and thinks, ‘There’s a hunter, a plow, a fish,’ is making mental connections that have as much real force in the universe as the very fires in those stars themselves.

Connections, Force, Real, Stars, Thinking

Geoffrey Hinton

To deal with a 14-dimensional space, visualize a 3-D space and say 'fourteen' to yourself very loudly. Everyone does it.

Doe, Everyone, Fourteen, Space, Visualize

Mark Cerny

It's possible to do computing in the Cloud, PlayStation 4 can do computing in the Cloud. We do something today: Matchmaking is done in the Cloud and it works very well. If we think about things that don't work well. . . Trying to boost the quality of the graphics, that won't work well in the Cloud.

Thinking, Clouds, Trying, Things, Playstation, Cloud

Tim Cook

Nobody wants to buy sour milk.

Buy, Milk, Nobody, Sour Milk, Want

Doris Roberts