Top Jimmy Fallon Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Jimmy Fallon Biography

James Thomas Fallon (born September 19, 1974) is an American comedian, actor, television host, singer, writer, and producer. He is known for his work in television as a cast member on Saturday Night Live and as the host of late-night talk show The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and before that Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. He grew up with an interest in comedy and music, moving to Los Angeles at 21 to pursue opportunities in stand-up comedy.

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Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is expected to announce tomorrow that he is running for president, making him Hillary Clinton's only Democratic challenger so far. Or as Hillary put it, 'Oooo, appetizers!'

Challenger, Hillary, President, Running, Sanders, Vermont

Today is Earth Day. Environmentalists spent the day drawing attention to the Earth, while the Earth just spent the day checking Facebook to see which planets wished it a happy Earth Day.

Attention, Day, Drawing, Earth Day, Environmentalists

President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa. '

Grandpa, Internet, Obama, President, Said, Welcome

I'm so excited. Jay Leno is on the show tonight. He brought some really funny jokes and some great stories. Although I'm a little concerned he also brought his old desk and Kevin Eubanks. I just want Jay to be comfortable, but not too comfortable.

Comfortable, Kevin, Leno, Show, Stories, Tonight

The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'

Failures, House, Ideas, Lower, Secret, White

I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live. ' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live. ' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live. '

Birthday, Cutting, Live, Night, Stars

Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate.

Birth, Demanded, Facts, Jeb, President, Running

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

Easy, Gun, Run, Running

It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

Cutesy, Keys, Reality, Script, Scripts

Thank you. . . 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo.

Atlanta, Fighting, Real, Universal

According to a new study, the marijuana in Colorado is almost twice as strong as it was 20 years ago. Of course, people had some questions for the scientists, like 'How can I get your job?'

According, Jobs, Marijuana, Questions, Strong, Twice

When you were a kid, [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have a briefcase. I loved how Dad wore a tie and got a car. I didn't know if all those things came together. I'd see my dad go off to work and we'd wait for him to come home, and we'd all be excited to see him.

Briefcase, Dad, Home, Jobs, Seemed, Things

I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks, Bo Obama. '

Dog, Dogs, Jobs, Marijuana, Popular, Read

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

Age, Doritos, Invented, Men, Pack

After President Obama announced his support for net neutrality yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz tweeted that 'Net neutrality is Obamacare for the Internet. ' While Ted Cruz continues to be the Taylor Swift of not getting over Obamacare.

Net, Obama, Obamacare, Texas, Yesterday

I read that yesterday, the Mexican peso hit its lowest point since March of 2009. In fact, things got so bad, it was seen leaving a bar with the American dollar.

Leaving, Lowest, Mexican, Money, Yesterday

There's a growing trend of older Americans who are using marijuana in their retirement. That makes sense because old people are always talking about their joints.

Marijuana, Retirement, Sense, Talking, Using

The key to happiness. Hm. . . . There are just so many factors. I think it's just a way of being. It's about. . . . every little thing in moderation. Whether it be stress, anger, joy, depression.

Factors, Joy, Key, Keys, Stress, Thinking

Thank you. . . preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Appreciate, Excitement, Football, Thank

If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.

Internet, People, See, Tvs, Want

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