Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.
I don't need a president with a bucket list!
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.
I quite like dark humor.
Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
Men of humor are always in some degree men of genius; wits are rarely so, although a man of genius may, amongst other gifts, possess wit, as Shakespeare.
If I rescued a child from drowning, the press would no doubt headline the story: 'Benn grabs child
Amy [ Schumer] is a really, really hilarious writer. She's super funny, and I feel like the core of our senses of humor is really similar.
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
The law of levity is allowed to supersede the law of gravity.
Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize. ' Except at a funeral.
It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.