Science advances funeral by funeral
I've always found the most tragic things funny. I was always the guy laughing at the funeral.
When I was 7 years old, I put on shows for everyone at my grandpa's funeral. I was always the little entertainer.
A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death.
I have met people that said when their friend was dying, they made them promise that their funeral would be a party without people sitting in silence and in sadness. They want to celebrate their life and the life they lived and I try to adhere to that more.
It's bad taste to be wise all the time, like being at a perpetual funeral.
A thousand people will stop smoking today. Their funerals will be held sometime in the next three or four days.
At my age, I regard each funeral I attend as a personal triumph, because I was not the guest of honor.
Mama and I would go to a funeral and she'd stand up to read the dead person's eulogy. She made the ignorant and ugly sound like scholars and movie stars, turned the mean and evil into saints and angels. She knew what people had meant to be in their hearts, not what the world had forced them to become. She knew the ways in which working too hard for paltry wages could turn you mean and cold, could kill the thing that made you laugh.
The Nobel is a ticket to one's own funeral. No one has ever done anything after he got it.
Funeral pomp is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.
I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.
I could picture life—school and everything else—continuing on without me. But I could not picture my funeral. Not at all. Mostly because I couldn’t imagine who would attend or what they would say.
In the United States large corporations control some members of Congress. All this does is delay the corporation’s funeral at our expense.
Whenever my patient begins to count the carriages in her funeral procession I subtract 50 per cent from the curative power of medicines.
I've been at the funerals of a lot of people in my neighborhood. Sometimes when I sit back and relax, I think about that and just blank out.
I got so many emails and text messages, my phone blew up because it couldn't handle everybody. It's like almost being at your own funeral because of the way the headline read.
I wanted to be at my sister's funeral, but my family has always had a complicated dynamic.
You owe me!" -Stephanie "Why do I owe you?" -Joe "I caught your no good cousin. " -Stephanie "Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. " -Joe "Well if you are going to be picky about it. . . . " -Stephanie
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.