The subconscious mind has no sense of humor and people often joke themselves into unhappy experiences.
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
Wit penetrates; humor envelops. Wit is a function of verbal intelligence; humor is imagination operating on good nature.
Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life.
There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
It's difficult isn't it, when you're in a Mosque and everyone's praying and you really enjoy leapfrog.
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
Your humor is your compass and your shield. You can hone it into a weapon or you can pull its strands out to make your very own cotton-candy blanket. You can’t exist on a diet of humor alone, but you can’t exist on a diet without it, either.
Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours o the morning when he would go surfing. He thought it might be fun to have me come watch. "Fun for who?" I wanted to ask. i had never asked him to come to Happy Hour and watch me drink.
Humor is just truth, only faster!
I am much more likely to care about someone trying to be funny and give them some credit for whatever he or she did that was remotely funny than I am to be mused by somebody declaring this isn't funny, that isn't funny, this sucks. If you want to write humor, you're going to have to get used to that.
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.
You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.
You might want to comment on that, Honorable.
I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.
Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.