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Fred Allen Biography

John Florence Sullivan (May 31, 1894 – March 17, 1956), known professionally as Fred Allen, was an American comedian whose absurdist, topically pointed radio program The Fred Allen Show (1932–1949) made him one of the most popular and forward-looking humorists in the Golden Age of American radio.

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Fred Allen Quotes

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Funny, Humor, Making, Mediocrity, Men, Minds

Vaudeville could not vouch for the honesty, the integrity, or the mentality of the individuals who collectively made up the horde the medium embraced. All the human race demands of its members is that they be born. That is all vaudeville demanded. You just had to be born. You could be ignorant and be a star. You could be a moron and be wealthy. The elements that went to make up vaudeville were combed from the jungles, the four corners of the world, the intelligentsia and the subnormal.

Honesty, Integrity, Jungles, Mentality, Stars, Wealthy

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

Aggravation, Comedian, Echo, Funny, Humor, Laughter

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Cities, Humorous, Paris, Taxi, Visitor

The S. S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.

Bigger, Funny, Luxury, Queens, Today

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

Inspirational, Memories, Names, Remember, Thing, Things

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California, Funny, Laughter, Live, Orange

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

Boston, Doctor, Doctors, Men, See, Sick

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Funny, New York, Humor, Bridgeport, York, Connecticut

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Agents, Funny, Magnify, Stars, Telescope, Thousand

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Amazement, Funny, Humor, Musical, Play

To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with skin wrapped around it.

Human, Humans, Items, Newspaperman, Skin, Skins

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

Uncles, Southern, Alabama, Planter, Undertaker

Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

Cooking, Food, Legs, Million, Paris, Served

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

Congratulations, Gas, Life, Match, Small, Success

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Church, Failure, Funny, Humor, Pray, Sowing

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

Conversation, Fire Escapes, Humor, Know

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Funny, Humor, Long, Sullivan, Talent

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Agency, Conference, Desk, Executive, Funny, Humor

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Business, Employees, Funny, Humor, Partners, Treat

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