Top Conan O'Brien Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Conan O'Brien Biography

Conan Christopher O'Brien (born April 18, 1963) is an American television host, comedian, writer, and producer. He is best known for hosting several late-night talk shows; since 2010, he has hosted Conan on the cable channel TBS. O'Brien was born in Brookline, Massachusetts, and was raised in an Irish Catholic family. He served as president of The Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, and was a writer for the sketch comedy series Not Necessarily the News.

Read about Conan O'Brien in Wikipedia

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Conan O'Brien Quotes

The U. S. Census Bureau reports that American homes are 650 square feet larger today than they were in 1980. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.

650, Census, Census Bureau, Home, Homes, Squares

If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting on a rock, jumping up like a frog, coming up with weird concepts and ideas, making faces, and combing his hair into a giant pastry. ' It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.

Frog, Hair, Ideas, Jumping, Television, Worthless

During the Democratic presidential debate Howard Dean started off by apologizing to the crowd for having a cold. Then John Kerry apologized for once having a cold while serving his country in Vietnam.

Apologized, Apologizing, Country, Howard, Presidential, Vietnam

Hillary Clinton is now driving from New York to Iowa. It's been called the least-exciting spring break trip in history.

Break, Clinton, Hillary, Iowa, New York, Spring

The head of the AFL-CIO endorsed John Kerry, saying, 'The time has come to come behind one man, one leader, one candidate. ' Then he said, 'And until we find that man, we will endorse John Kerry. '

Candidate, Cio, Endorse, Leader, Men

I hear YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are merging to form a super Social Media site - YouTwitFace.

Media, Merging, Social, Twitter, Twitter And Facebook, Youtwitface

In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.

Ban, Cleveland, Fit, Moving, People

Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.

Two, Yesterday, Irs, Claim, Allowed

First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don't worry, Vice President Biden is going to be OK.

Biden, Exercise, Posted, President, Worry

A public relations firm said that rock star David Lee Roth owes them over $110,000. The strange thing is that it's the first time that David Lee Roth has had any publicity in ten years.

Owes, Public, Rocks, Roth, Stars, Years

Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result, all the ponies in Iowa have gone into hiding.

Fair, Gone, Iowa, Ponies, Pony, Riding

Today, Snoop Dog endorsed Ron Paul for president. Snoop said he likes Paul's positions on everything from legalizing pot. . . to legalizing pot.

Dog, President, Today, Everything, Ron

The Republican Party had a big day in yesterday's midterm elections and now controls the House and Senate. And don't ask me how this happened, but the Republican Party also gained control of three seats in our show's band.

Big, House, Party, Three, Yesterday

Iran is celebrating the nuclear deal. The Iranians are going crazy. They're drinking non-alcoholic champagne and thinking about dancing. That's how excited they are.

Celebrating, Crazy, Drinking, Iran, Thinking

I think in future people will take television in eyedrop form. All media will be in eyedrops.

Eyedrops, Media, People, Take, Thinking

Gary Busey said on the Today Show yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen.

Charlie, Needs, President, Said, Sheen, Yesterday

In New York the other day, there was a pro-Martha Stewart rally. Only four people showed up. . . and three of them were made out of crepe paper!

New York, Paper, People, Rally, Three

Fidel Castro declared that a robot would do a better job as president than Barack Obama. After hearing this, Mitt Romney thanked Castro for his endorsement.

Castro, Declared, Fidel, Jobs, President, Robots

Marijuana plants were found near bin Laden's compound, which explains why bin Laden's last words were, 'Dude. . . '

Compound, Dude, Lasts, Marijuana, Plant, Words

Thousands of legal and illegal immigrants staged what they called a Day Without Immigrants. Or, as it's known in Utah, Monday.

Illegal, Monday, Utah

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