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Scott Adams Biography

Scott Adams (born June 8, 1957) is the creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, and business.

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Scott Adams Quotes

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

26Th, Anniversary, Food, Wedding, Wedding Anniversary, Wife

Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

Bangs, Calculations, Going Away, Phhbwt, Science, Took

I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.

Infinite, Long, Mind, Quality, Work, Zero

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Funny, Kind, Smart, Stupid

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.

Doctor, Doctors, Like, Paws, Take, Technology

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

Automatically, Computer, Giving, Mail, Messages, Search

Some physicists describe gravity in terms of ten dimensions all curled up. But those aren't real words-just placeholders, used to refer to parts of abstract equations.

Real, Science, Dimensions, Curled, Ten, Placeholders

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

Engineer, Funny, Hilarious, Kid, Living, Witty

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Business, Inadequate, Informed, Inspirational, Long, Tradition

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

Answers, Beware, Religion, Simple, Trying

The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.

Exactly, Hard Work, Sacrifice, Sacrifices, Want, Work

A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.

Basically, Car, Car Rental, Rental, Wheels

We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.

English, Goats, Know, Speak, Speak English

Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

Levels, Awareness, Function, Measure, Level

The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.

Compile, Information, Make, Want, Way

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Dilbert, Needs, Tell, Wisdom

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

Idiot, Idiots, People, Principle, Principles

If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

Drunk, Stupidity, Boss, Reduce, Photocopy

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Funny, New York, Taxicab, Thing, Travel, Yellow

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

Effort, Focus, Harnessing, Solar, Stupidity, Unlimited

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Scott Adams Biography

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