I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the … - Frank Carson

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The first divorce in the world may have been a tragedy, but the hundred-millionth is not necessarily one.

Frank Carson

I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours. " I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas. "

Asked, Funny, Humor, Keeps, Octopus, Waiter

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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

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A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp. " The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps. " He says: "There's one in the window. "

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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

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I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals. . . she has NEXT written on her knickers.

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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson. " When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it. "

Air, Asked, Carson, Funny, Hear, Humor

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