When I was a waiter I was fired twice from the same restaurant. I guess I was that good of an actor but that bad of a waiter.
What is with waiters who don't write anything down and memorize your order instead? Are you trying to impress me or something? If you were that smart you wouldn't be a goddamn waiter in the first place.
Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT.
If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter.
Robert Whitmore died of apoplexy when a stranger from Georgia mistook him for a former Macon waiter.
I have been working since I was 20, and I'm 38. I actually once averaged out what I had made over my professional life. I think I could have made that much as a waiter or an insurance salesman. You know, I spent so many years in my 20's making $10,000 a year.
I don't consider myself an actor, for me it's employment. Like the actor who's a waiter a lot, I'm an actor when I'm not on tour, in that that's a job I can do.
I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters.
Those who write are writers. Those who wait are waiters.
From being a waiter, to a door-to-door salesman, to a car-washer, to a delivery boy - I have done it all.
Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly. "
Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma’am? (Waiter) ‘How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat Lanie with?’ (Grace)
I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day.
How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had. ' The waiter joined me.
If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.
I was working in restaurants as a captain and as a waiter.
To go to the Oscars for 'Moneyball' - that was pretty amazing.