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I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.

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Frank Carson

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals. . . she has NEXT written on her knickers.

Funny, Girlfriend, Humor, Knickers, Morals, Worried
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

Accusing, Funny, Humor, Man, Men, Stealing

A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp. " The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps. " He says: "There's one in the window. "

Funny, Give, Humor, Men, Pet, Walks

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

Funny, Humor, Irish, Mate, Told, Use

I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson. " When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it. "

Air, Asked, Carson, Funny, Hear, Humor

My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Ate, Father, Funny, Pigeon, War, World
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