Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Whoever dies will be rewarded by heaven.
I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion.
Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are.
Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?
I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed. '
Their casualties and bodies are many. Their equipment and vehicles, several were destroyed
So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.
I did graduate with a bachelor's degree in civil engineering in 1948.
My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles
National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.
Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.
But there's a bigger trend I'm seeing: people who used to enjoy blogging their lives are now moving to Twitter.
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.
Yes, we rather condemn people for eternity without the courtesy of informing them.
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.
Someone came too sooner.