The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
I see myself as a comedian rather than a female comedian. I happen to be a woman, but I am a comedian by trade.
You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.
To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps.
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.
Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices.
The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.
I don't know if I even consider myself a comedian really - I do comedic acting in some films and dramatic in others.
Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.
I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.
A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
I'm a performer, comedian, entertainer, writer and director.
Being a comedian, you're under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform - to deal with pressure without stress.
I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.
Comedians and jazz musicians have been more comforting and enlightening to me than preachers or politicians or philosophers or poets or painters or novelists of my time. Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.
I'm such a fan of Lily's Tomlin, for so many years. I feel like Lily was the first popular mainstream crossover comedian who also was kind of an overtly feminist comedian.