Top Aziz Ansari Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Aziz Ansari Biography

Aziz Ismail Ansari (born February 23, 1983) is an American actor, comedian, and filmmaker. He is known for his role as Tom Haverford on the NBC series Parks and Recreation (2009–2015), and as creator and star of the Netflix series Master of None (2015–) for which he won several acting and writing awards, including two Emmys and a Golden Globe for Best Actor – Television Series Musical or Comedy. With his Golden Globe win, Ansari became the first Indian-American actor ever to win a Golden Globe for acting in television.

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Aziz Ansari Quotes

Come on, man, I got a full beard!

Beard, Come, Full, Man, Men

I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible. '

Hate, People, Read, Telling, Thinking

I guess my music taste is pretty predictable: I like new indie rock stuff, older stuff.

Rocks, Indie Rock, Stuff, Older, Guess, Like

I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.

Couple, Long, Run, Running, Surprised, Tended

Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.

Become, Comedian, People, Stuff

I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.

College, Good, Things To Do, Think, Thinking, Travel

Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.

Jokes, Keep, Kind, Thinking, Trying, Writing

Everyone's first thought is "These women are going to take advantage of you" or "Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. " That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.

Advantage, Date, Firsts, Issue, Issues, Stuff

With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.

Failures, Hear, Interesting, People, Successes

I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.

Fun, Meets, Think, Thinking, Two

I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the "nerd" moniker. But I don't get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a "racist" comedian.

Comedian, Honest, Lost, Nerd, Racist

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

Ball, Balls, Gotta, Littles, Parks And Recreation, Work

Come cook food with me and do nothing.

Come, Cook, Cooks, Food, Nothing

If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.

Believe, Believes, Equal, Mean, Men, Rights

One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid. Usually standing from behind.

Drunk, Goal, Men, Prettiest, Speeches, Usually

This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.

Giving, Keys, Matter, Robbed, Time, Twice

I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.

Band, Cutting, Framed, Gentleman, Slim, Suits

I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero.

Amy, Caring, Hero, Person, Poehler

When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos. ' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.

Commits, Dating Someone, Ginuwine, Girl, List, Lists

I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.

Bars, Designate, People, Places, Think, Thinking

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