Jealousy is a dog's bark which attracts thieves.
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible. '
I guess my music taste is pretty predictable: I like new indie rock stuff, older stuff.
Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
I never had the desire to be a professional Twitterer. Every now and then something dumb pops into my head and I'll tweet it. I don't feel any obligation to respond to everyone. Not that I don't appreciate people sending me messages on there, but there are too many. Responding to everyone would take away time for all the stuff I'm actually in the business for.
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.
Fish live in water. Men die in it. Nature is diverse, and not all tastes are the same.
I glance into the faces of all these people out for a Sunday stroll, but I'm not seeing eyes and noses and mouths. I'm seeing stories. Every person has a story. All the hopes and dreams. And fears. And secrets. In every face.
Don't you just hate it when the war on terrorism interferes with political correctness and liberalism's equality fetish?
In Quebec, we can no longer increase taxes if we want to stay competitive.