I didn't go to bars much. One drunken asshole was all I could handle and that was me. I wrote. I don't remember a lot of it.
Ever hear of a telephone, asshole?
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
In your twenties you're becoming who you're going to be and so you might as well not be an asshole.
What Jack didn't understand was that no matter where he went, the same asshole got off the plane.
Not that I was ever an asshole but I used to be much more of a bulldozer.
Rule 1: When all else fails, follow instructions. And Rule 2: Don't be an asshole.
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole. ’
Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.
Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole.
You're not getting this back you know. Consider it an asshole tax.
What’s going on? (Astrid) Not much. Some invincible asshole is trying to kill me. (Zarek)
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
For me, the best experience is to get to watch all of these different actors that come to the different seasons and bring these A-game performances. I'm just like, "Wow, can you do that again, so that I can take notes? How did you do that?!" That's the greatest joy, in doing a show like 'Hap and Leonard: Mucho Mojo'. I get to watch all of these thespians come rip it a new asshole.
Don't mistake being an asshole for being a man.
I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
I mean that it's all right to go to bed with an asshole but don't ever have a baby with one.
If you can play an asshole you never get to do it in life, so what rich joy there is to go and do that and say awful things to people.
It takes one asshole to ruin the whole thing. That's it. One. The problem with the world is one asshole comes up with a really bad idea and now we're all taking our shoes off at the airport.
How to be a bouncer: be an asshole; stand near a door.