Ladies, if you want a happy marriage, then do whatever your husband tells you without questioning his authority.
No, I was just good at holding ice cream cones.
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
I like naturally occurring film grain, and what happens to film when it's under- and over-exposed.
Sometimes, the person who could make you happiest is the one who waits patiently in the wings.
No one ever converted to Christianity because they lost the argument.
Don't just give up, Hachiko. Life is about getting knocked down over and over, but still getting up each time. If you keep getting up, you win.