If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and … - Mitch Hedberg

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. . . I scarcely am able to govern my muscles, when I see a man start with eager, and serious solicitude, to lift a handkerchief, orshut a door, when the lady could have done it herself, had she only moved a pace or two.

Mitch Hedberg

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.

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I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

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Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

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I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

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When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

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Ken Auletta

Zuckerberg had the good sense to know both his own limitations and interests. He wanted an executive who would free him to do what he loved: code, and enhancing the Facebook platform.

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David Gergen

There's a normal tendency in the campaign, during a crisis, for the country to rally around the White House. That may help Al Gore in this campaign, but on the other hand, George W. Bush handled himself so well the other night on foreign policy that I think it fortified him just before this crisis broke.

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Helen Fisher

Despite the myth that men are less committed, they are predisposed to desire marriage.

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The declaration of love may come sooner than expected. Take time before you reciprocate as this may simply be a statement of what they expect from you.

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Mary Wollstonecraft

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