You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
I love making people laugh, and to be able to be that humorous character was great. And I actually was very similar to Neville Longbottom. I was very shy and chubby-cheeked. I wasn't bullied at school, but I wasn't particularly outgoing. We were similar. And so I loved playing him.
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road. . . besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.
His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment.
I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.
I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go. . . "All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle. " ?
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.
Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.
Democrats can't get elected unless things get worse-and things won't get worse unless they get elected.
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
To me, an airplane is a great place to diet.
Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.