I can tell you this: If I'm ever in a position to call the shots, I'm not going to rush to send somebody else's kids into a war.
I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
I am running for president because it is obvious that no Democrat or Republican is ever going to stop the relentless growth of the federal government. only a Libertarian is going to set you free.
Everybody has something to bring to the table.
Many girls have not the advantage I have and I [am] very very glad that satan has not geven me boils and many other Misfortunes.
You can't help but. . . with 2020 hindsight, go back and say, 'Look, had we done something different, we probably wouldn't be facing what we are facing today. '