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It's difficult for me to describe my own music; every song is an experience that I set to music. There's no lyrics, no singer, just instruments, but I'm sure you can feel what the song is talking about just by listen to it. I can't describe a feeling, my songs are feelings.

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Jerry Seinfeld

Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.

Comic, Everything, Lifelong, Ready
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Birthday, Epic, Freedom, Funny, Men, Thing

Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.

Expands, Fame, Joke, Possibility, Want, Work

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Funny, Humorous, Music, Shower, Thanks

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Deserve, Hilarious, Lied, Lying, People, Tabloids

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Failure, Head, Keep, Not Giving Up, Success
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