She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.
Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.
It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, "launder" became a dirty word.
God was bored by him.
People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
I grew up in a family of ten. You had to have, like, a burst appendix to get the floor. . . . My brothers and sisters are very quick, intense, brilliant, very sarcastic people. And they were always right there with you, right there, missing not one little throat clearing.
Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
That’s the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics.
He's a trellis for varicose veins.