Top Eddie Izzard Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Eddie Izzard Biography

Edward John Izzard (/ˈɪzɑːrd/; born 7 February 1962) is an English stand-up comedian, actor, writer and political activist. His comedic style takes the form of rambling, whimsical monologue, and self-referential pantomime. He had a starring role in the television series The Riches as Wayne Malloy and has appeared in films such as Ocean's Twelve, Ocean's Thirteen, Mystery Men, Shadow of the Vampire, The Cat's Meow, Across the Universe, Valkyrie and Victoria & Abdul. He has also worked as a voice actor in The Wild, Igor, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Cars 2 and The Lego Batman Movie.

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Eddie Izzard Quotes

No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

Funny, Kept, Makeup, Men, People

Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym. Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch - death, death, death - afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower. . . ' "

Funny, Killed, Look, Lunch, Morning

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

God, Having, If There Is A God, Ifs, Plans, Similar

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself. '

Damn, Everyday, Looking, Mirrors, Thinking

Cake and tea or death?

Cake, Death, Tea

Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?

Class, Jet, Jet Engines, Sucked, Thinking

I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.

Avoid, Book, Books, Dyslexic, Person, Persons

When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. 'I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. ' And you do that so that people in the room might go, 'What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities. '

Expensive, Pay, Sex, Sorry, Strong

I've wiped the file?. . . . I've wiped all the files?. . . . I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!

File, Files, Internet, Modem, Wiped

If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.

Comedian, Fine, Label, Labels, Well Known

Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, "More, give me more of that stuff," because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it's basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that's what being a comedian is about.

Becomes, Brain, Comedian, Comedy, Giving, Hits

They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people. ' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Gun, Kill, People, Say, Thinking

Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up.

Failing, Excellent, Projects, Pick, Learning

Peace, peace, peace. Peace is organized.

Organized, Peace

I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.

People, Politician, Politicians, Subscribe, Think, Thinking

I don't believe that competitions are important.

Believe, Competition, Competitions, Important

Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen's. They're all frumpy aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousin's marry.

Cousin, Idea, Ideas, Queen, Queens, Victoria

So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great. . . He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I suppose so.

Greek, Invented, Questioning, Sort, Suppose, Yeah

There's a thing about trying too hard, which I think is in all forms, which is if you really try to do things really well, you can get to a less good place than if you just let go and let it fly. Especially in creativity.

Creativity, Forms, Letting Go, Place, Thing, Thinking

You piss me off you Salmon. . . You're too expensive in restaurants.

Expensive, Money, Piss, Restaurants, Salmon

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