I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for … - Frank Carson

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I didn't want to do 'Casino Royale' when they told me to audition. I said no. Then they sent me the script, and I thought it was actually very interesting - and I had no other work at the time.

Frank Carson

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

Inspirational, Likes, Marriage, Think, Wedding, Wife

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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

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A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp. " The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps. " He says: "There's one in the window. "

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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

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I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals. . . she has NEXT written on her knickers.

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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson. " When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it. "

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