I didn't realize how much of a Hoosier or a Midwesterner I was until I moved to New … - Jim Gaffigan

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It is propaganda that people, who had lived a full life of heterosexuality, were married and had children, were denying their real sexuality all that time. There is historic evidence that entire populations can convert to homosexuality under certain conditions.

Jim Gaffigan

I didn't realize how much of a Hoosier or a Midwesterner I was until I moved to New York. It's weird - growing up in Indiana, I wanted to get out, and now I completely romanticize Indiana. It just seems like there's a greater focus on family back there, which I suppose is something that kind of stayed with me.

Completely, Focus, Growing Up, New York, Suppose, Weird

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My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to. Who wants to ?'

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After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!

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I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. . . . I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.

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I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy". . . My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family. " Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.

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I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

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