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Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour.

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Karl Pilkington

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

Ate, Funny, Kids, Know, Knows, Licorice
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At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.

Funny, Insect, Leafs, Point, Sex

Your dreams should never be better than your real life

Dream, Dreams, Life, Real, Should

They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle. . . get it locked up.

Animal, Feet, Ideas, Long, Moan, Saying

If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong.

Face, Faces, Knobs, Looking, Not Happy, Wrong

Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China. '

China, Honest, Right, Wall
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