The wisdom of our ancestors.
My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?
People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.
My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?
This is a gathering of Lovers. In this gathering there is no high, no low, no smart, no ignorant, no special assembly, no grand discourse, no proper schooling required. There is no master, no disciple. This gathering is more like a drunken party, full of tricksters, fools, mad men and mad women. This is a gathering of Lovers.
October is a fine and dangerous season in America. a wonderful time to begin anything at all. You go to college, and every course in the catalogue looks wonderful.
I think the dream role is getting the opportunity to really sink my teeth into something and transform in the role.
We don't have problems. We have some protesters. Every once in a while, somebody will stand up. Today, we had a little more than normal in St. Louis in the morning. We had a number of people standing up. And it was fine. Nobody got hurt. But you know, they had to get taken out. And they're disruptive, and we do the best we can to do a little creative - have a little bit of fun with them.