It's all like an ocean!" cried Dostoevski. I say it's all like cellophane.
When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D. C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.
A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama's economic adviser.
Every single member is so precious to me and like family to me. . I may joke around with them a lot but I can't talk seriously with them. . because it's awkward for me. But on the inside, I really do think of each one of you so much and I want you all to know that.
Always wake up with a smile knowing that today you are going to have fun accomplishing what others are too afraid to do.
I'm sometimes afraid I'll cross a line and it'll be difficult to come back, say, to dinner.
I think, on a surface level, people are surprised to see me playing such a passive role in 'Good. '