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Stressing the God-centered life can lead to an otherworldly withdrawal from everyday earthly life.

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Emo Philips

I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.

Life, Pleased, Reality, Say, Won, Wrestling
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I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.

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They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.

Beach, Bottles, Glasses, Sign, Thinking

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

Confident, Earth, Purpose, Taken

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.

10000, Friend, Funny, Looks, Plastic, Surgery

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face. ' I said, 'You'll be sorry. ' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well. '

Corners, Floor, Funny, Humor, Sorry, Yeah
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