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The Miami Dolphins have to be taken seriously. Here's a team that seems to be jelling.

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Frank Carson

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

Friday, Funny, Twice, Uncle, Uncles, Years
Same Author Quotes

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

Accusing, Funny, Humor, Man, Men, Stealing

A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp. " The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps. " He says: "There's one in the window. "

Funny, Give, Humor, Men, Pet, Walks

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

Funny, Humor, Irish, Mate, Told, Use

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals. . . she has NEXT written on her knickers.

Funny, Girlfriend, Humor, Knickers, Morals, Worried

I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson. " When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it. "

Air, Asked, Carson, Funny, Hear, Humor
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