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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!

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Will Rogers

Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington.

Animal, Back, Home, Politicians, Washington, Zoos
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

Book, Communication, Learns, Reading, Smart, Smarter

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Deserve, Face, Faces, Funny, People

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Drink, Drinking, Funny, Herd, Leadership, Upstream

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

Being Different, Day, Different, Serious, Take, Way

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Funny, Movie, Same, Witty, Years
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