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My philosophy for producing a record is for everyone involved, including myself, to get out of the way of the song, and at the same time, listen to it as closely as you can, and listen to where the song wants to go.

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Jerry Seinfeld

I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

Suicide, Suicidal, House, Commit, Wait
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Birthday, Epic, Freedom, Funny, Men, Thing

Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.

Expands, Fame, Joke, Possibility, Want, Work

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Funny, Humorous, Music, Shower, Thanks

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Deserve, Hilarious, Lied, Lying, People, Tabloids

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Failure, Head, Keep, Not Giving Up, Success
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