Dammit, America is a hellhole and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.
Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
I like getting married, but I don't like being married.
Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much
I don't ever want to have a weak episode of television with my name on it.
Why is it that sometimes our prayers seem not to be answered? This is a manifestation of the Buddha's wisdom, so that we can deepen our prayers, become stronger people, live more profound lives and secure deeper, more lasting good fortune. If our slightest prayer was answered immediately, we would become lazy and degenerate. And we could not hope to build a life of great dignity and substance.
The next time some academics tell you how important diversity is, ask how many Republicans there are in their sociology department.
The majority of my blood is Asian.