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I did not know the woman I would be nor that blood would bloom in me each month like an exotic flower, nor that children, two monuments, would break from between my legs.

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Si Robertson

I'm like an owl. . . I don't give a HOOT!

Give, Giving, Hoot, Like, Owl
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I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.

Butterfly, Dynasty, Fleas, Like, Sting

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife). . but still my own.

Funny, Life, Marriage, Reviewed, Revised, Wife

One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me. . Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!

Girl, Hey, School, Time

I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones. . . and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie.

Chicken, Feet, Pie, Piece, Pigs, Woodpecker

A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find.

Work, Night, Hunting, Like, Ninjas
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