Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a … - Jim Gaffigan

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In the world's broad field of battle, In the bivouac of Life, Be not like dumb, driven cattle! Be a hero in the strife!

Jim Gaffigan

Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet. ' Flush Pocket!

Lean, Place, Pockets, Toilets, Wanna, Wonder

Same Author Quotes

My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to. Who wants to ?'

Annoy, Ems, Kids, Midnight, Taking

After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!

Everything, Funny, Hot, Like, Pockets, Taste

I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. . . . I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.

Issues, Laughing, Material, People, Wanting

I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy". . . My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family. " Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.

Call, Camping, House, Loves, Married, Wife

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

Acting, Exhausting, Know, Like You, Parenting, Up Early

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Paulo Coelho

As he was about to climb yet another dune, his heart whispered, "Be aware of the place where you are brought to tears. That's where I am, and thats where your treasure is.

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Amy Ridenour

Karl Marx once said, 'The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope. ' Marx was wrong. The last capitalist to be hanged shall be the one who donated the rope, and then lobbied for his own hanging.

Donated, Environment, Hanged, Lasts, Rope, Sold

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In the world's broad field of battle, In the bivouac of Life, Be not like dumb, driven cattle! Be a hero in the strife!

Battle, Cattle, Driven, Dumb, Hero

Leon Trotsky

As long as human labor power, and, consequently, life itself, remain articles of sale and purchase, of exploitation and robbery, the principle of the “sacredness of human life” remains a shameful lie, uttered with the object of keeping the oppressed slaves in their chains.

Consequently, Long, Lying, Oppressed, Principles, Slaves

Carlson Gracie

If you want to be a lion, you must train with lions.

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