Americans are a wonderful people: They will always do the right thing--after exhausting every other possible alternative.
The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
True Love can be no deeper than your capacity for friendship, no higher than your ideals, and no broader than the scope of your vision.
True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
I wanted to be a stage actor but I got stuck on television. It took a couple of years to get used to.
My parents taught me what life is about, so I grew up the type they warned me about.
If I have to go around telling everyone how great I am, then there's something wrong with my act.
California officials want to contain a measles outbreak that originated in Disneyland last month. They are in luck because everyone who is exposed to it is still in line at Space Mountain.