One afternoon a girl walked by in a bikini and my cousin Janet scoffed, “Look at the hips … - Tina Fey

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Cheerful givers do not count the cost of what they give. Their hearts are set on pleasing and cheering the person to whom the gift is given.

Tina Fey

One afternoon a girl walked by in a bikini and my cousin Janet scoffed, “Look at the hips on her. ” I panicked. What about the hips? Were they too big? Too small? What were my hips? I didn’t know hips could be a problem. I thought there was just fat or skinny. This was how I found out that there are an infinite number of things that can be “incorrect” on a woman’s body.

Cousin, Girl, Numbers, Small

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Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

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If you ever start to feel good about yourself. . . . . . . they have this thing called the internet.

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And I can see Russia from my house.

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Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

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