For people who are really alive to have life awakened is more important than to get a sandwich.
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich. '
A man's social rank is determined by the amount of bread he eats in a sandwich.
You're in America now," I said. "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.
It was one of those moments that would have had dramatic music if my life were a movie, but instead I got a radio jingle for some kind of submarine sandwich place blaring over the store's ambient stereo. The movie of my life must be really low-budget.
I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No-I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.
Perfect sandwich? Two slices of white bread, mustard, mayo and a platinum American Express card.
You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, AND HE ARRIVES WITH A SANDWICH!. . . And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"
I can't say I really see much difference between my son and daughters except that my girls will occasionally make me a sandwich and my son won't.
When I'm at craft services, I make the best-tasting,10-layer meat and cheese sandwich with no bread.
The sandwich he made was bologna and cheese, his favorite. All the sandwiches he made were his favorites; that was one of the advantages of being single.
My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.
I`m like a peanut butter sandwich.
You don't have to be a star to get a cheese sandwich. You just have to be first.
Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13. 75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.
Life is good when you have a good sandwich.
Every jacket I make has interior pockets big enough to store a book and a sandwich and a passport.
I want a sandwich named after me.
