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We fight to exist. Personally, I am not ashamed of fighting to exist. We are doing no very extraordinary thing to fight simply because we do not wish to be enslaved or exterminated.

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Weak, Justice, Angry, New York, Willing, Ideas, Things In Life, Positive, Inspiring, Life Is Like, Identity, Technical, I Like You, Fitness, I Miss You, Philosophy, Kindly, Thinking, Acknowledge, Funny, Achievement, Nice, Impossible, Like, Love You, Creative, Art, Journey, Songs, Confidence, Leadership, Guru, Kindness, Name, Things, Music, Feelings, Period, Path Of Love, Thing, Quite, Adventure, Culture, Light, Movie Love, Inspired, Bear, Good, Comfortable, Today
Jay Mohr

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

Alcoholic, Drinking, Hillbillies, People, Scotland, Thinking
Same Author Quotes

I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.

Acted, Assholes, Deals, Life, Like, Perception

You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes. " That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.

Accusing, Accusing Me, People, Shows, Thieves, Watching

What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!

Happened, Party, Realized, Stories, Years

You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.

Airline, Car, Crazy, Dog, Loman, Walken

I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.

Construction, Language, Order, Telling, Whole
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