Top Jay Mohr Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Jay Mohr Biography

Jon Ferguson Cox "Jay" Mohr (born Jon Ferguson Mohr; August 23, 1970) is an American actor, comedian and radio host. He is known for his role as Professor Rick Payne in the TV series Ghost Whisperer (2006–2008), the title role in the CBS sitcom Gary Unmarried (2008–2010), as a featured cast member on the sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live (1993–1995) and the back-stabbing sports agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire (1996). Since making his feature film debut with Jerry Maguire, he has appeared in the films Suicide Kings (1997), Picture Perfect (1997), Paulie (1998), Small Soldiers (1998), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Are We There Yet? (2005), Street Kings (2008), Hereafter (2010) and The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013).

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Jay Mohr Quotes

Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.

Fantastic, Fear, Filling, Rivers, Rooms

If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So it is a monastic life, it is very lonely, if I was prone to loneliness. It's a lot like wrestling, no one can throw a block for you, no one can give you a pass. Nobody can hand the ball off to you, it's you only for an hour and a half every night.

Lonely, Loneliness, Block, Pass, Nobody

There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.

Billy, Brilliant, Ceilings, Contemporary, Crystals, Like

What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!

Happened, Party, Realized, Stories, Years

The first time I watched [Keith] Olbermann, his opening monologue, I completely changed the way I approached my radio show.

Approached, Keith, Radio, Way

It's very good to know when you're being lapped on the racetrack, 'cause you've got to put your foot down on the pedal and get going.

Cause, Causes, Feet, Lapped, Pedals, Racetrack

My act now is completely different. I took two years off when I first got with my wife and it was because my old act was all about "Where's the party after this?" I was humping the stool and it's all so disgusting and I was miserable, miserable in a lifeless angry marriage. Then I met my wife and I was completely happy. Like a snake that sheds its skin. I just got rid of all of that negativity.

Angry, Party, Rid, Skin, Snakes, Years

You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.

Airline, Car, Crazy, Dog, Loman, Walken

The allure becomes, "Can I make these rooms bigger?" Can I fill these 1,500-seat rooms? Then the allure is, how much, if we're being honest, how much can I squeeze out of it financially?

Allure, Honest, Rooms, Squeeze

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Baseball, Dress, Dresses, Like, Managers, Player

Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, "It was pretty good. " If anyone thinks my show was "pretty good," then I've completely failed. I think every comic should think that.

Failed, People, Show, Thinking, Tickets

There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones that really nobody saw. The Groomsmen, Playing By Heart and Seeing Other People are by far the work I'm the most proud of.

Acting, Heart, Movies, Ones, People, Proud

I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a bit about his Mom making the bed in the summertime when he was a kid. He just said "Vroom!" and threw the sheet up in the air and the sheet would just stay over the bed for like a minute and a half. All he had were his arms out, but I could see the sheet. And he didn't do anything. He just kept it there. And I went, "I have to write more. "

Kept, Kid, Kids, Mom, Sheet, Writing

My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When I talked to Kelly [George Carlin's daughter] about it, she said that George Carlin once took her at about 12 years old and said, "I've figured it out. " And he says it in one of his specials sort of - he goes, "We're all energy and we're all connected. That goldfish you have, you, me, that boot laying in the street, we're all pieces of light to a giant electron.

Atheist, Confounding, Daughter, Energy, Light, Refuse

I feel good. I'm much better. Actually, I just lost 10 pounds on a new diet called the flu. Has anyone tried that one out?

Actually, Feel Good, Flu, Lost, Pounds, Tried

When I'm home I'm in much more of a routine like I said, which I like. On the road everything gets flip-flopped.

Everything, Flip, Home, Like, Routine, Said

I started to have panic attacks on stage and my wife just asked, "Why don't you just stop?" I was doing Ghost Whisperer at the time so I was making enough money where I could put it away and she said, "Then, when you go back, you just go up and tell the truth. " And it's a lot more tiring.

Ghost, Money, Panic Attacks, Wife

What's great about stand-up unlike athletes and other things when you get old you get old and rusty.

Athlete, Athletes, Old, Old You, Rusty, Things

All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week. . . It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to be. I went to work feeling nauseous.

Feelings, Nauseous, Place, Waiting Around, Week, Work

Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia LaBeouf or Leo DiCaprio. You're a comic.

Class, Comedian, Comic, Dicaprio, Pitt

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