Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
When I'm home I'm in much more of a routine like I said, which I like. On the road everything gets flip-flopped.
I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes. " That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.
What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
I worry about technical details - did I mix the cello half a decibel too high? Things like that.
We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
A hero without faults is like an omelet without little bits of eggshell in it.
If somebody doesn't have enough judgment to be able to look at plastic surgery and realize how phony it is, then they can't be helped.