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Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.

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Marsha Warfield

You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

Eat, Forget, Kind, Special, Stupid
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I hate skinny women, especially when they say things like 'Sometimes I forget to eat. ' Now, I've forgotten my mother's maiden name, and my keys, but you've got to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

Hate, Like, Mother, Skinny, Stupid, Women

I'm beginning to appreciate the value of naps. Naps are wonderful, aren't they? Sometimes now I have to take a nap to get ready for bed.

Appreciate, Bed, Beginning, Naps, Take

How many women here like to have sex in the morning? Now how many like to be awake when it happens?

Awake, Happens, Like, Morning, Sex

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.

Baseball, Funny, Grabs, Player, Spit

I used to be a virgin, but I gave it up because there was no money in it.

Money, No Money, Used, Virgin, Virgins
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