The greatest gift you can give your child is another sibling.
A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp. " The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps. " He says: "There's one in the window. "
My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals. . . she has NEXT written on her knickers.
I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson. " When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it. "
The racism in Europe takes the form of anti-immigrant extremism - which is bad enough here - I think it's hard to measure, but my guess is that it's probably worse there.
Essentially, there's a universe inside your brain. The number of connections possible inside your brain is limitless. And as people have learned to have more managerial and direct creative access to their brains, they have also developed matrices or networks of people that communicate electronically. There are direct braincomputer link-ups. You can just jack yourself in and pilot your brain around in cyberspace-electronic space.
I loathe nationalism. It is a form of tribalism--the idolatry of the 20th century.
I do think that in the near future, if it hasn't happened already, people will be able to use technology to design their own novels, perhaps with individuals themselves as the main character. In other words, everything is being individualized and narrowed.