I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

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Quote of the day

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.

Will Rogers

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Funny, Government, Jokes, Sarcastic, Watch, Witty

Same Author Quotes

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

Book, Communication, Learns, Reading, Smart, Smarter

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Deserve, Face, Faces, Funny, People

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Drink, Drinking, Funny, Herd, Leadership, Upstream

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

Being Different, Day, Different, Serious, Take, Way

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Funny, Movie, Same, Witty, Years

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John Marburger

Evolution is the cornerstone of modern biology. Intelligent design is not a scientific concept.

Cornerstone, Design, Evolution, Intelligent, Religion

Caitlín R. Kiernan

The writing of a novel or short story or poem or whatever should elevate the audience, not drag the writer down to some level beneath herself. And she - the author - should fight always to prevent that dragging down, especially when the only possible benefit of allowing it to happen is monetary.

Drag, Dragging, Fighting, Stories, Writing

Gunilla Brodde Norris

A candle is a living, flickering light. It can easily be blown out. As we watch a candle burn we see the wax diminish. It melts away - a symbol for life. [. . . ] Candles have long been central to worship. By lighting them we announce that we are entering into a different sense of time. Not the usual ticktock time of daily living, but sacred time, a timeless time.

Life, Time, Book, Burn, Entering, Blown

John Hodgman

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.

Carving, Knives, Mold, Please, Turkeys

Charles Duhigg

I think I'm smart, and I know I was a good mom. But there wasn't a lot I could point to and say, that's why I'm special.

Mom, Point, Say, Smart, Think, Thinking