I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop. - Anthony Jeselnik

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Quote of the day

Envy is a horrible thing. It is unlike all other kinds of suffering in that there is no disguising it, no elevating it into tragedy. It is more than merely painful, it is disgusting.

Anthony Jeselnik

I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop.

Candle, Love, Play, Royal Wedding, Wedding, Wind

Same Author Quotes

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.

Explain, Fun, People, Retarded, Say

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

Cry, Girlfriend, Haircut, Upset

I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

Clothe, Day, Funny, Humor, School

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

Bird, Cool, Girlfriend, God, Kings, Owned

About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?

Cares, Die, Kids, Know, Months, Who Cares

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Terence Davies

After my father died, we began to live. He was psychotic. He really was terrifying.

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Barbara Brown Taylor

Day by day we are given not what we want but what we need. Sometimes it is a feast and sometimes. . . swept crumbs, but by faith we believe it is enough.

Believe, Crumbs, Day, Faith, Needs, Want

Stephen King

It's actually against my religion to laugh at men who are toting guns.

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George Orwell

Envy is a horrible thing. It is unlike all other kinds of suffering in that there is no disguising it, no elevating it into tragedy. It is more than merely painful, it is disgusting.

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Daniel D. Polsby

Contemporary scholars have little explored the preconditions of genocide. Still less have they asked whether a society's weapons policy might be one of the institutional arrangements that contributes to the probability of its government engaging in some of the more extreme varieties of outrage. Though it is a long step between being disarmed and being murdered-one does not usually lead to the other-but it is nevertheless an arresting reality that not one of the principal genocides of the twentieth century, and there have been dozens, has been inflicted on a population that was armed.

Asked, Explored, Genocide, Government, Gun, Reality