In our home we grew up thinking we were Mormons first and human beings second.
I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to. Who wants to ?'
After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!
I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. . . . I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.
I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy". . . My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family. " Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
Gratitude is what we are without a story.
My world we humans we’re just pawns on an immortal chessboard.
The UN special envoy on food called it a 'crime against humanity' to funnel 100 million tons of grain and corn to ethanol when almost a billion people are starving. So what kind of crime is animal agriculture, which uses 756 million tons of grain and corn per year, much more than enough to adequately feed the 1. 4 billion human who are living in dire poverty?
It seems to me that education has a two-fold function to perform in the life of man and in society: the one is utility and the other is culture. Education must enable a man to become more efficient, to achieve with increasing facility the ligitimate goals of his life.